Two Men Walk Into A Bar (only this ain’t funny)

Standing at the bar, I stared at the ales on offer but, unlike me, cared little for the drink I’d be consuming. Surrounding me were Sunday drinkers, fresh from watching the football or having had Sunday lunch, sharing jokes, sinking pints and creating an air of happiness on what was a glorious spring day.

I had other things on my mind. Earlier that morning, the ex sprung it on me that her partner was finally ready to meet me and could do so that evening. As I had been insisting on meeting this bloke for ages, I couldn’t turn down the offer. However, standing at the bar, pondering what to say to this man was an odd moment. I had already known in my mind what message I wanted to get across, but right there and then I had no idea how I’d greet this bloke. Do I shake his hand? Do I offer him a drink? What actually is etiquette when meeting the man who two years ago I found out was sleeping with my then wife, thus breaking up my family, meaning I see my kids only 50% of time in the week?

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Who Is The Man Spending Time With My Children?

Slowing the car down, I see his gold Ford Mondeo on my ex’s drive. I don’t say anything. The kids are pretty oblivious to it. My daughter holds my hand as I guide her from the car onto the pavement, whilst my son opens the boot, grabs his stuff and makes his way to the front door.

We knock. The ex answers. There is no sign of him. Somewhere in the house he’s hiding, like a coward. My kids bid farewell, I hug them and wish them a lovely day at school before making my way to work.

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Blended Boundaries

Time froze. It stopped. My little girl looked at her big brother, then at me. My son stood still. For the first time that evening he was lost for words. And me?! Well I wasn’t sure what to do, how to feel or how to respond. However, it had to be done. It was entirely appropriate. Soon-To-Be was left with no choice but to tell my son off for the first time.

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‘Honey, I Miss The Kids’

To celebrate the New Year, Soon-To-Be and I decided to have one last city break before properly saving for our wedding. After deliberating where to go for approximately 30 seconds, we decided to head to the city of Reykjavik in Iceland.

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An Open Letter To My Children

Dear Kids,

Well, what a 2018 it’s been eh?! I can honestly say that it’s been one of the most interesting years of my entire life and sharing it with you two makes it perfect.

In fact, sharing any year with you guys is perfect.

I won’t lie, 2017 was pretty awful. Learning about your Mum’s affair, her leaving in the middle of the night out of the blue and Grandad’s battle with cancer, did leave me slightly battered at times, but with you two in my life those testing times were overcome with relative ease. When on the brink, nothing brings you back to earth like your son announcing he’s blocked the toilet or your daughter demanding I dance with her in the kitchen, before sulking when I don’t complete the splits.

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